Picking. Picking your nose, picking your scabs, picking at hang nails. Its compulsive, I don't know why I do these things. I just get the urge and do it. Something is sticking out of the flat, complex surface. Lets pick at it. Reveal something new. Its not like I can't guess what will be under once I have picked it off. But I need to find out! Hang nails, I bleed, and then get even bigger hang nails. Scabs, I bleed, and develop scars. my nose, I can clear my air ways.
Now with paintings, its a little different. It is not my body, its an extension of my mind. Layers upon layers. I usually want to keep them in-situ, but that compulsion to pick away at a poorly adhered piece of collage is too great. I must pick. Remove. But by removing I reveal what beneath. Sometimes 3 or 4 layers deep. With all the layers in-between being revealed as well. That is the mystery. What will it look like underneath. If Ive put in the necessary work, it will look good. If not I must continue. picking and peeling, adding and piling on. Paint and collage, time and dirt. Even long after paintings are "complete" I fond a thing hanging off, undesirable so it must be removed. I pick at it until I am satisfied.
at work I am a picker. I have an order that must be filled and products that can fill it, so I go about my job. Finding the desired product and picking it off the shelf. Desire. at work it's different. However, Desire must play into it. de·sire /dəˈzī(ə)r/
noun 1. a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen. "a desire to work in the dirt with your bare hands"
for my paintings there is a need to reveal that thing. its funny that dictionary.com uses an example of dirt and using your hands. It is exactly what I desire in life. Using my hands, picking at things with them, picking at my hands themselves. my hands are the machines that carry what I do forward, I must know there ins and out. What exactly are they capable of? Well, its easy. whatever I want them to be. treat them with the respect they deserve and your hands will guide you. listen to them. desire play into picking because I need and want to find out what will happen when I pick that thing. so I do, and I find out. follow your desires, be self indulgent, be happy.